We are the worst judges of ourselves

Accepting feedback from those around us is more easily said than done. Though we would all like to believe that we actively listen to other’s opinions of us, we tend not to. And when we do take the time to listen to others we cloud their feedback with confirmation bias and misconstrued words. We all view our world’s through rose colored glasses at some point or another, its human nature.

When we find habits that work, we tend to stick with them.

Perhaps a more accurate way to say that would be: When we find habits that we believe to be working, we tend to stick to them even when confronted with evidence that suggests change. Change requires effort, and survival instincts err towards the conservation of energy. We tend to resist change in an effort to save energy, even if a change would result in more effective energy expenditure in the long run.

When presented with feedback that questions our current way of doing things, our lizard brain reaction is to resist. We are prone to react by making defensive comments or rationalizations. Sometimes the feedback isn’t constructive and we should be able to defend our way of doing things. This possibility fuels the rationalization even further.

Objectively assessing feedback is an important part of self improvement.

Being able to check your ego at the door when receiving feedback allows you to utilize feedback for positive change. It can be especially hard to take feedback from others when you are in a leadership position, where you are more likely to feel pressured to stay consistent. But the ability to utilize feedback, even as a leader, is a sure way to grow.

We must be willing to be wrong, accept feedback, and change our beliefs. We are all capable of learning for ourselves what we must change, through internal feedback loops. We must also accept external feedback as well. We are, after all, participating in a shared world consisting of far more perspectives than our own.

External feedback, no matter how painful, is always a chance to learn.

These thoughts brought to you by the reading of: Persuadable: How Great Leaders Change Their Minds to Change the World by Pittampalli, Al